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UPS is still out to lunch - Printable Version

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- Thomas - 12-01-2003

WOW, once I was invited to give a wine class for a group. The woman who invited me found me on this board. She had read my book and thought I had something to offer a bunch of her catering customers. I agreed to do it.

When I got there I noticed the people seemed not only to know the host but they knew one another. A little ways into the evening I asked the host if she always got so friendly with her customers. She said, "well, these guys are more than customers; we are all Jehova Witnesses."

She saw my jaw drop, and then she said, "don't worry we aren't here to convert you."

"But I thought Witnesses don't drink wine," I said.

She told me, "Oh no. We interpret the bible literally, and if you do that you must accept wine."

I also found out that night that J Witnesses network for business reasons, giving their own priority over any other. Why did many of them drink Lindemans' wine? The winery is owned by J. Witnesses.

I love wine for its pleasure and for its surprises.


- winoweenie - 12-02-2003

What a funny antedote. They own Lindemans????WW


- Auburnwine - 12-02-2003

God called this morning.

She informed me that Lindemans is owned by Southcorp these days. She chuckled and mentioned that a wise-ass wine salesman used to use variations on that same pitch: "Penfold's is owned by Baptists, Mondavi by Catholics, Rust en Vrede by Quakers, Dow Chemical owned by Republicans." It all depended on what had the best mark-up.

I have heard that Welch, of grape juice fame, was either Mormon or Methodist, and that faith was a part of his marketing outreach.

One of my African-American friends says that his church (intensely fundamental) has gone back to real wine because of Biblical literalism.

Ain't life grand?


- Thomas - 12-02-2003

You have to admit, AW: invoking the Name has its appeal. So many do it to confuse so many...or is it to control?


- Auburnwine - 12-02-2003

Don't get me started on the "Christian materialism" that seems so much in vogue these days!

Hey, what kind of weather are you planning for me this weekend? Oops, I'd better get back on the phone with The Divine and order up crisp days with blue skies.

And should I come stumbling into your shop looking for Foodie? I am sometimes referred to as Chuck, myself -- not a very spectacular moniker for a middle-aged man, but it matches my modest persona.


- wondersofwine - 12-02-2003

In the shop Foodie is known as Thomas.


- wondersofwine - 12-02-2003

Like your story about the Jehovah Witnesses, Foodie. I would have guessed them as abstainers myself.


- Auburnwine - 12-02-2003

Thanks Wonders! Tell everybody in the Dunn/Erwin metroplex that I said hello. Ah, I miss traveling to that corner of the world.


- Thomas - 12-02-2003

Chuck, the shop is so small you'll likely bump into me before you get to utter my name. Just look for the guy who seems to be in charge...


- quijote - 12-02-2003

The guy who seems to be in charge....

You mean Winoweenie will be there?


- Bucko - 12-03-2003

Look for a 60's hippy type with no teeth and smells like garlic....... [img]http://38.118.142.245/ubb2/eek.gif[/img]


- Kcwhippet - 12-03-2003

His picture used to be at www.is-wine.com, but I don't see it anymore.


- winoweenie - 12-03-2003

Scared off too many mothers who shopped with their children. [img]http://38.118.142.245/ubb2/wink.gif[/img]ww


- Auburnwine - 12-03-2003

Uh, Foodie, I wouldn't let WW or Bucko take charge of marketing for you. I thought that was IK's image (with a cleaver, wasn't it?) that kept giving me nightmares. Y'all weren't separated at birth, I assume.


- Innkeeper - 12-03-2003

Foodie's the one on the left: http://38.118.142.245/ubb2/Forum39/HTML/000141.html


- Thomas - 12-03-2003

I guess I'll go eat worms...

Bucko, if you don't believe that I have teeth I can send them to you for examination. And what is that refgerence (got ww disease) to the "sixties?" By the time that decade rolled around I had already a four-person share of wine and sundry substances!

[This message has been edited by foodie (edited 12-03-2003).]


- Auburnwine - 12-03-2003

Now y'all had me all set to cancel my New York trip. Foodie doesn't look nearly as scary as advertised. The picture WAS taken three years ago, so he may have gone to hell in a handbasket since then.

Then again, I'm not familiar with the two other lads in the photo. Being at the same table with IK and Foodie may have put them off wine entirely.