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+--- Thread: Confessions... (/thread-13245.html)
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- stevebody - 09-19-2004
Some of you may remember that I spent a fair amount of time being rather aggressively contentious in these forums during the past 12-18 months. I sorta feel compelled to tell you, now, that what I did was use you guys; some of you rather shabbily.
Judye's doctor pulled me aside, shortly after she was released from the hospital, and told be bluntly that I was going to go through the stages of grief and that the most difficult and persistent one was going to be anger. He made it clear that, despite my best intentions, it was likely that some of it would slop over onto Judye, unless I found somewhere to put it. He suggested a lot of things - exercise, boxing, golf, letters to the editor - most of which were simply not possible at all, given who and what I am. The clear message was, though, that I was to keep it out of Judye's life, at all costs.
I had visited this forum and the one on the Spectator site and knew that the exchanges sometimes became heated, so I signed up, logged on, and picked fights. On both sites. I'm aware that I probably did peoples' perceptions of me irreparable damage but I can't claim to be sorry because it worked. It was, in fact, a perfect venting place and - especially on Spectator - I locked up with several people who were every bit as fractious and hair-triggered as me. I've posted a similar message on that site , saying basically the same things.
FYI, people who know me usually say that I'm a very nice, patient, non-confrontational guy, which was not always the case. But you guys made it possible for me to avoid spewing the same stuff to peoples' faces that I spewed here. I left this forum feeling calmer, less bottled up, and far more ready to face the amazing grind of what Judye has had to go through. I suppose a "thank you" would seem weird but that's what I owe you. I did, for a fact, have a tremendous amount of anger, guilt, and frustration, ranging from the daily sorrow of watching her struggles to the free-floating, irrational guilt that I should have or could have done something, anything to prevent what happened to her.
So you know, Judye has gone from her surgeon telling us, the night of her accident, that there was a "1 in 1000" chance, at best, that she'd ever recover ANY function or sensation below the site of her injury to walking an average of 80 feet a day on a walker. She's slower that molasses on a cold day and it isn't graceful, but we'll take ever blessed foot of it. It has all come about because of a kind of courage, tenacity, and gumption that I have never seen in anyone in my entire life. She is sometimes ill-tempered, she can't comparison shop worth a damn, and (worst) she can't remember any wine, ten minutes after she's tasted it...but she's the very epitome of bravery, to me, and whatever part I've had in her small miracle is only possible because I've tried to follow her example.
I don't expect anyone who thinks I'm a jerk to change that opinion. I believe in lying in the bed you've made. But please know that I owe you all one and that you won't confront anything like that from me again.
Peace.
- Bucko - 09-20-2004
We're not too thin-skinned around here, except maybe IK, but he whines about everything - NY influence. Oh, and WW, but he's demented from the desert sun, and then there's Hotsie, but he has sucked too much smoke from his BBQ. And then there's Georgie, but hey, she's a school teacher so she has a right to be insane, and... and...
Damn, come to think of it, I'm the only sane one around here... [img]http://wines.com/ubb2/eek.gif[/img] [img]http://wines.com/ubb2/eek.gif[/img] [img]http://wines.com/ubb2/eek.gif[/img]
- Thomas - 09-20-2004
Gee Stevebody, I don't remember any fights with you...
Tell Judye the nuts on the Wineboard wish you both well--yes, even you!
- Kcwhippet - 09-20-2004
It's nice to see a kinder, gentler SB. Welcome back.
[This message has been edited by Kcwhippet (edited 09-20-2004).]
- wondersofwine - 09-20-2004
Keep us posted on Washinton state wines. We're having an offline there next summer.
Oh, and thanks for championing Joy Andersen's wines at Snoqualmie in the past--I recently had the Chenin Blanc and was impressed with that as well as the red wines.
It does take great courage and gumption to recover from a major accident. We have one "miracle lady" at my church who was in a coma for weeks after a car accident--had to learn to speak again and is now able to work as a salad bar manager for a restaurant. It did affect her temperament some but she has come so far since the accident.
- winoweenie - 09-20-2004
I was slightly confused when I saw you posting again and the demeanor that the posts mirrored. It's extremely satisfying to know that Judys' doing so well and that you have stayed the course. Glad to have you back. May the next 6 months shower her with more improvement. WW (If Buckos' state is sanity, I be extremely glad to be demented) [img]http://wines.com/ubb2/wink.gif[/img]
- dananne - 09-20-2004
Glad to hear of the good news in your family and hope it continues. I also look forward to your continued words on the wines of the NW.
If you guys can make it to the Washington state offline next summer, that'd be great! From all reports, the recent one in the Finger Lakes was a memorable time, which I regret having to miss myself.
All the best to you and Judye.
BTW, any success finding that elusive Pinot Noir that knocks your socks off?
- Thomas - 09-21-2004
I heard Stevebody just stopped wearing socks--much easier that way...
- Innkeeper - 09-21-2004
I think we hooked Steve up with Brian Loring, much to Bucko's chagrin.
- Kcwhippet - 09-21-2004
Yeah, now after trying, and liking, the Loring juice, there's all the other Central Coast stuff to go after - like ROAR, Siduri, Clos Pepe, Pisoni, Bonnacorsi, APVin, etc., etc., etc. Not to mention the upstate stuff like Dehlinger, Radio-Coteau, et al.
[This message has been edited by Kcwhippet (edited 09-21-2004).]
- Georgie - 09-21-2004
Thanks for speaking from your heart, SB. It's not always an easy thing to do. We all wish both of you only the best life can offer in the future. You deserve it after what you've been through.
- Bucko - 09-21-2004
Loring, Siduri, Roar, et al, make nice wines if you like the style. I don't. I want classic Pinor Noir, not one on steroids.
- Kcwhippet - 09-22-2004
That's what makes wine so much fun. Everyone can find a style and a wine they like. I tried for years to like classical PN, and I didn't. Then I tasted a couple from Arcadian and they were more like what I wanted ... and so it goes.
- Thomas - 09-22-2004
I assume by "classic" Bucko, you mean Burgundian--yes?
- Bucko - 09-22-2004
I mean Pinot Noir that is balanced, tastes like Pinot Noir, and that you can actually read newsprint through.
I drink many OR and CA Pinots. If you have ever drank a Thomas Pinot from OR, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Someone else wants a Schwarzenegger Pinot? Go for it! There is a market for those as well.
- Thomas - 09-22-2004
Certainly, you did not mean Burgundian.
- dananne - 09-22-2004
Maybe it's me, but it seems that the Burgundians are getting more and more like the heavily extracted New World ones every year.
At the same time, many New World producers are going back to trying to emulate classically-styled Burgundy.
IMHO, they seem to be going in opposite directions. Go figure.
- winoweenie - 09-22-2004
Oh and bye-the-bye there SB ......You were a jerk!. WW
- stevebody - 09-22-2004
Judye's daughter just married a great young man whose family lives in Oregon so, after not having any real reason to go there since I moved here in '92, I've been spending a bit of time at his parents' house, bonding and - coincidentally - drinking some wine. Since the people in Oregon are every bit as devout homers as folks here in Seattle, I've had to stifle my Pinot reflex and actually work at ordering and gamely imbibing some OR Pinots when we've gone out to dinner. Surprisingly, I've enjoyed a few. Not to the point where I'm likely to start my own Pinot Quest but, with the dinners, they've been quite nice.
I agree with Bucko: If I'm going to drink a Pinot, I want that clarity, lightness, complexity, and far less oak/extraction frou-frou than I find in a lot of Pinot. The exceptions to that are things like the Loring wines, which I did actually like just as an aperitif, and a couple of odd Hobbses and Hartfords and such that I've sampled. The corrolary that I've been able to use to rationalize this to myself (to avoid the impulse to check into a sanitarium) is that I prefer traditional Rioja in much the same way. Before the Americanization of Rioja - us old farts will recall - it, too, was a light, clean, interesting style, even if it was always oak-barreled. Tempranillo being the chameleon it is, the Young Lions of Spanish wine have turned Rioja into whopper fruit bombs, to compete with the Ribera del Dueros and Priorats. The old style is disappearing, I think to the detriment of the region.
Approaching Pinot that way, I've sorta made my peace with it. I had a cheap O'Reilley's that was very drinkable, a positively delicious Owen Rowe, a startling Sine Anne, an Archery Summit I enjoyed with duck, and the Beaux Freres spin-off they made for Robert Kacher, Les Cousines(sp). I also had a Red Hills of Dundee Pinot that my pal Charles Smith at K Wines made (bottled, really) that I thought was a tremendous value. Liked them all. Not enough, again, to make me crave more but enough that I no longer flinch when I see it on the table and even enough to get me engaged in conversations about the varietal.
I can't tell whether I'm mellowing, maturing, or slowly rotting. I suspect the latter.
Thanks to all for the kind words about Judye. She's gonna beat this in time.
- wondersofwine - 09-23-2004
SB, I was at a wine tasting at a private home in Bethesda, Md where the wines included a horizonal of Muga 1994 Rioja wines. One was a regular reserva, one was Seleccion Especial and one was in the modern style with more wood. None of us prefered the more modern one. The host, who provided these wines, prefered the regular reserva and the rest of us gave the nod to the Seleccion Especial.